It’s been a great pleasure to serve as editor of ASPPA’s Plan Consultant magazine since 2012.
I can’t remember when magazines weren’t part of my life. One of the first ones I read as a boy, Mad magazine, had a regular feature comprised of definitions of common terms that were all comically wrong. Recently, I flashed on that feature in the middle of a discussion about the arcane jargon that people new to the retirement industry have to learn.
Later, it occurred to me that calling on the vast knowledge of PC’s readers, we could crowdsource a glossary of industry jargon and buzzwords with definitions that are amusingly wrong. So in the fall issue, I invited readers to come up with their own wrong definitions and email them to me. Here’s what we have so far:
- Actuary: Where dead actors are embalmed
- ASEA: The section of the dictionary that starts after a B
- ASPPA: Your dad's butt
- Discrimination Testing: An exam that enlightened people can take to demonstrate their lack of bias
- 415 Cutback: When the drinking starts to slow down at a late, late night party
- Recordkeeper: A person who will never throw out their Elton John albums even though they haven’t owned a turntable in two decades
- Third Party: The one that starts at 2:00 a.m.
Are you in? This could be your greatest contribution to the retirement industry! Or the most pointless thing you’ve ever done. Either way, a win-win. Email your definitions to me—before Thanksgiving—at [email protected], and I’ll find a place for them in the winter issue of the magazine.
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